The Dandelions

.. the mutual admiration and bashing society.

This one’s for the Boys : The mysteries of the Female Psyche revealed

Posted by Madame on July 30, 2008

How often do you Boys moan about this? (yep, men are natural moaners….go on, admit it😉 ) ‘Women are impossible to understand!’, ‘I’d rather rob Fort Knox than try to understand a woman’s logic’ and blah, blah, blah…it goes on….and on…

I’ve asked myself a thousand times…..Are women really that hard to understand or are men just too damn lazy to make the effort to try and understand us??? After all…men are perfectly able to understand each other just by GRUNTS….women actually speak in words which form sentences…so I figure that it’s just too much work for the male species😉

Here are some common scenarios to clue you in, Boys🙂

Female : ‘Awww…Honey, you bought me flowers for Valentine’s Day? Baby, you shouldn’t have bothered…its so expensive and I dont want you to waste your money.’

Usual male response : OK

Preferred male response : But, my darling…you’re deserve this and much more. I want to give you the world.

————————————————————

Female : I dont want to talk about it. Its ok….I’m fine.

Usual male response : OK

Preferred Male response : Darling, talk to me please. I want to share every part of your life….the good and the bad. I’m interested in everything about you!

————————————————————

You see the pattern, Boys? It’s that word “OK”. What the hell is that, I ask?! Its the laziest form of agreement, I figure🙂 Strive to use words that are not monosyllabilic😉

Ok then…let’s move on…you Boys get my drift, I’m sure. The Preferred Male Responses are the ones that you should be striving for, you will acheive Nirvana if you could just listen and answer us and show some interest. Women dont want GRUNTS….if we did, we’d get ourselves a little Porky😉

Ahhhhh…now to the all important Male Obsession….SEX!!!! When IS a cuddle just a cuddle and nothing more? And when does a cuddle mean ” Ok, Stud Muffin….tonight’s your lucky night!” ? Sometimes, all we women want really is a cuddle…it gives us comfort and security. YESSS…these are 2 words that women use frequently….look up the meanings, Boys… memorise them and utilise them😉

When the woman has had a difficult/emotional day….Please, Boys….we want a cuddle ONLY….Tarzan tactics will probably get you a swot on your head or worse😉 Women dont appreciate “The Slam-Bam-Thank You-M’am Routine” at all. We want foreplay….INFACT, we demand foreplay! We like to be romanced…not pounced on, for Pete’s sake!😀 It is very much an emotional and spiritual experience for us…so take a little time to ask Her about how her day went, massages would work very well too, give her a nice surprise….it’s the thought that counts! Set the mood and if you followed my suggestions, by now your woman should be ‘almost putty’ in your hands and then ask her nicely… if she would like to….Yes, Boys….do ask, please. Neanderthal Men are such a turn-off!😉 Women love that freedom of choice…its empowering!😉

Celebrate and cherish the differences between the Male and Female species. I’ll bet you wouldnt want to play the ‘Hokey-Pokey’ with a She-man ;-P Treat her well, respect her and protect her….all the while remembering to romance her and I’ll bet that every night…or almost….will be a “Stud Muffin, it’s your lucky nite!”…kinda night!🙂

Now….that wasnt so hard now, was it, Boys?!😉

P.S. Pay close attention, Boys, to the words that have been high-lighted…I know that even reading this might be too much work for you😀

16 Responses to “This one’s for the Boys : The mysteries of the Female Psyche revealed”

  1. anonymrs said

    amen, except the needing foreplay part. I like being pounded ha ha. BUT mental foreplay is much needed.

  2. missjolie said

    LMAO…I couldn’t agree more! this is really funny! Do more please…men need guidance😛

  3. saggiethewarrior said

    Cuddle = boring

    sex = yippee

  4. Madame said

    Sigh……Saggie needs guidance too!😉

  5. Eric said

    I’m sorry but this is such bologna. You females THINK you know what you want in a man but when it knocks on your door it’s “Oh, a guy who caters to my every desire and is so tamed. That’s cute”. We lose our manhood.

    Men should have total respect for their significant other and I would never argue that. But the problem is that when we do, we’re no longer looked at as men, we’re looked at as wimps. (i.e. good friend or brother material, you know what I’m talking about)

    It seems that as soon as men put women on a pedestal it becomes a weakness. It’s the exact reason people are always saying “Why would such a great girl like her be dating such a prick like him!”.

    I’m sorry one more thing: “I dont want to talk about it. Its ok….I’m fine”… Why do women have to play mind games like this. If you want to talk about it, don’t say that you don’t!!! Just seems like simple logic to me!

    I just find it funny that so many woman say similar to what is posted here but act the complete opposite. It’s just nature I guess.

  6. Jarid said

    thank you Eric, you are right.

  7. Ryan said

    treat them mean, keep them keen….. im not an asshole but thats what women want.. nice guys always finish last

  8. em gee said

    1. A lie is lie. If you are asked how you feel about a subject and you answer it in a way that’s contrary to the truth, that’s called a lie. You shouldn’t have to be asked twice to be coerced into telling the truth.

    2. See that? “Coerced.” Two syllables! Yay! Men, two thousand years your gender’s predecessor in the art of collecting and assembling words to create speak-talk, are not by nature monosyllabic – rather, the block-jawed pituitary mutants you choose to idolize as male sex symbols *are*, and that you can only blame yourselve for.

    3. Stop imagining that because my gender has asked how best to fill the role of partner to yours, that this EQUATES to a green light to instruct us all to become your personal cabana boys, masseuses and grief counselors. I’m saying this because these things are not a fair representation of what women believe men in their lives SHOULD be. Or, if their beliefs about the ideal man are so extreme, perhaps we’ve found the real problem here, that expectations of women are beyond the grasp of realism. And we could use more realistic insight than ‘gimme a foot rub.’

  9. Guy said

    In my experience females tend to be the worst gender at communicating what is wrong when asked, we as males lay it out in the open, if something is bothering us we say exactly that.. To expect us to prawd and poke at you to get an answer is simply unacceptable.
    We are fully capable of grasping how you feel but the communication can only start with you opening up instead of saying “its fine, i don’t want to talk about it”..
    As far as sex goes, its not a male obsession its a basic HUMAN need, right there beside food and water

  10. sidcynic said

    while reading the thread I knew exactly what I wanted to say about it!!! And as I started reading the comments from the guys I realized I was not the only guy that felt this way! What they say is true

    Woman will take a guy that treats her like a goddess, and walk all over him, taking robbing him of his manhood and in the end dumping him for what she considers better. Woman are back stabbing and no wonder they have no real female friends. They will lash out at one another with nasty remarks, they will scowl at one another putting each other down behind their backs.

    As men we put it out there the way it is, and with that comes honest relationships and trust. And for this very reason you will often see a crowd of men hanging around laughing from the gut and having a good time, because he knows what you see is what you get!

    Lets face it the only way a woman sticks with a guy described in the thread is if he is wealthy other than that they would rather be nailed good and hard by Mr right now till Mr money comes along.

  11. Anna said

    I wouldn’t want one extreme or the other. I cannot stand guys that barely give you the time of day and you constantly feel like you have to change to be better for, but at the same time why would I respect a man that kisses the ground I walk on? There’s no challenge there. Equality is where it’s at for me.

  12. J said

    The man wants the woman to act more masculine by being more to the point and the woman wants the man to be more feminine meaning being more verbal and more of a mind reader. Women I can tell you how to solve this problem: Don’t talk. Mean what you say and get to the point. He’ll absolutely hate it and he’ll realize he really doesn’t want the butch version of you. He’ll begin to worry and become more concerned. It’s not a game it’s just giving him what he thinks he wants. How do I know? I’ve lived this way all my life and one thing I’m sure of is if you give them what they claim they want it usually backfires. However, the same thing goes for you women. Be okay with the fact he’s not getting it because you’re hoping he KNOWS what you want. Well…..he doesn’t work that way…..get over it. So what I do is not give a crap if he reads my mind or not. I say what I want and watch him NOT be able to get it for me. Put him in the hot seat by putting it in his face. Give him the power to either fail or succeed.

  13. it is the bonding by the soul that is most important.soulmate.then there is perfect amity in whatever each one does orsays or thinks and there is perfect comfort in that.we have been singly wed for 6 years and are enjoying it to a hilt.thinkweb conversations,emails,calls,until i find u again,stars,love spells,astral sex obe echanging gifts,greeting cards,love objects,tv,youtube,google hits,fantasies,female orgasm,g spot,females live in a world of fantasy,porn star movies,unconditional love,females love 99% fantasies,romance,cuddling,frigging,gspot,female orgasmsnmultiple and hate physical sex because of the pain.sid and ran.

  14. It wasn’t that much work_considering I just GRUNTED😀

  15. Juan Torres said

    I can understand the romantic stuff and the asking part. What I dont get is how a.woman using words… can’t say exaxtly what she wants. Atleast grunts are sincere and not misleading. I dont believe men say “ok”‘out of lazyness. I believe we say it out of a mutual understanding. Imagine if world governments operated in the same pretence as a woman? Unspeakable chaos. Please correct me if I’m wrong. P.S. please grunt or write the real meaning🙂 thanks…
    SINCERELY, A NEANDERTHAL😉

  16. Juan Torres said

    Like.the comments “boys” true for the most part.

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