The Dandelions

.. the mutual admiration and bashing society.

Chains Of Love?

Posted by ErnieJean on August 4, 2008

“You are my woman, so play your part and be submissive”

“What have you been reading from the internet, that you are asking for equal rights now?”

“Why do you need friends? Isn’t having a husband enough? I am different…….I need to go out and socialize for networking and business purposes”

“I don’t like to see you in the company of friends when there are men amongst them. It’s different for me when I go to the pubs where there are GROs. I’m not as vulnerable to seduction as you women are”

“It’s ok if I drive my female colleagues home, but don’t you dare get into the car of your male colleague”

“I’m a guy….I need my space”….and then……”why do you need your personal space? Who is going to cook tonight’s dinner?”

Does any of the above sound familiar?

When the “head of the household” takes his role seriously and basically places marital chains around the very person he promised to love and care for, in sickness and in health, through dreamy courtships and fairytale marriages………all in the name of “Love”? Or is it just a perverted fetish for power?

Doesn’t this seem to be a form of spousal abuse? Where there is the very much one-sided form of imprisonment, constraining the freedom and rights of an individual, all in the name of protecting the marriage bed?

Is this more phenomenally common among Asian couples, or it basically is just that male-ego “I am Man, You are Woman” thingy?

Is it really unreasonable when the other party expects equality in this partnership?

Husbands tell me that it is their love and concern that causes them to be protective of the woman they call “wife”, and if being seen as chauvinists is what is needed to ensure that their woman stays “safe” by being at home, to wait for the husbands on hand and foot when they come back from a hard day’s work, then so be it, regardless of whether the wife is happy with this sort of arrangement or not. Also, let’s not forget that there is the “need” to protect the wife from being exposed to social interaction with other men, even though it is seen as perfectly alright if the husbands themselves, are surrounded by scantily dressed waitresses in clubs or pubs when entertaining friends and clients.

Rather than viewing it as a rebellion against the age-old practice where the wife devotes the rest of her life to take care of her children, husband and sometimes, the dreaded in laws (and where her only social life revolves around the occasional gossip marathon with market folks), shouldn’t the relationship between spouses evolve to a new level where both parties are accorded with the same privileges as one another? That if the husband demands he be trusted while in the company of beautiful women, then that same level of faith and trust be accorded to the wife?

I hope this is not misunderstood as advocating for the wives to start neglecting the needs of their families and start gallivanting around town with male-friends, but rather, don’t you think it’s time some of these MCPs (Male-Chauvinistic Pigs) start realizing that having a wife does not equate to owning a personal slave?

Just to, perhaps, start looking at that very woman one professes to love and to hold, as an individual with rights, feelings and needs…..and not some blow-up doll.


5 Responses to “Chains Of Love?”

  1. Madame said

    Well said, Ernie Jean! Vive la femme!!! 🙂

  2. saggiethewarrior said


    I agree..but don’t go and tell my wife that…

  3. Madame said


  4. Amused said

    correct, don’t tell mrs. saggiewarrior that. otherwise, he won’t be getting his dose of sex!! LOL…

  5. saggiethewarrior said


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