Does Being Catty And Vindictive Amongst Us Pay?
Posted by ErnieJean on August 13, 2008
I work in an office where majority of the staff are women and Boy, do these ladies here love to backstab, make war, not love and basically, try to establish some kind of “relevance” amongst themselves, fighting over petty stuff that I’m not really sure what it’s is all about in the first place. And of course, there’ll be also the break-off group of the “obligated” one or two fork-tongued individual who spits the right venom depending on which gang she is talking to and the final group of “couldn’t care less” individuals, who usually, are made up of the few men in the office and of course, yours truly.
Sounds familiar? Not that I delight in dissing my fellow female co-workers, but seriously, one usually (actually, more often than not) see this sort of comical-motion amongst the ladies.
Anyway, in this office, there’s these two distinct warring parties (very much like those Hongkie TV series), one led by a middle-aged secretary and the other by a middle-aged receptionist, both obviously suffering from some kind of depression or something, to be delighting in making life miserable for everyone else…..sort of feeding off the negativity in order to be positively charged?
There came a point where these two ladies would take their petty arguments all the way up to the managing directors. The weird thing is that the bosses would actually just sit back and enjoy the show, rather than attempt to make right the situation (do we really need trouble makers in any organisations?).
How petty is petty, one would wonder? Well, the problem is that it’s so petty, I’m not entirely sure how it got to be a problem in the first place……..arguments can basically stem from anything, say, whose rubbish ended up in whose dustbin, to, why wasn’t one invited to join the others for lunch.
Then, there was this one seriously funny but totally disbelieving incident where someone from one gang used the photocopier machine, got a shred of paper jammed internally and the secretary leader from the other gang, who is in charge of office equipment, refused to contact the technician, thereby causing everyone else in the office much much inconvinience, if you can imagine……..until one of the directors had to personally instruct that the machine be fixed.
My current company may be a middle sized family-owned business, but I’ve noticed the same trend in larger corporate organisations. Is there something about majority of the women not being able to co-exist in an office environment? It’s like “You claw at me, so I claw back at ya” mentality, isn’t it?
Why am I lamenting the second time round about the cattiness of womenfolk amongst themselves (the first being about how women are to be blamed for the woes that befall them)? Well, because I’m female and I do habour hope (in vain perhaps?) for some kind of sisterhood to be established amongst us. It doesn’t have to be a perfect relationship, but at least some form of a united front would be nice, don’t you think?
Having said that, I do know many other exceptional ladies who feel that same way, and who just can’t understand the need for fellow office folks to come to a level of such intense animosity, so much so that it starts eating inside of them, and everyday is just another day of scheming.
Before I end, let me relate this true life tale about a certain ex-female colleague, who for obvious reasons, came across as someone very bitter and vindictive……and yes, she did make life miserable for those whom she didn’t take a liking to (with or without a reason). And I suppose with all that resentment and negativity being built up and contained over the many many years, she was recently dignosed with cancer. For someone who led a very healthy lifestyle, with no family history of any sort of cancer, could the inability to look at the brighter side of things and to learn forgiveness have manifested into something more sinister the flesh?