The Dandelions

.. the mutual admiration and bashing society.

Birthday passed, fat like Najib? Big like Pamela?

Posted by jingoisticbuthornydesperado on August 18, 2008

I have just recently celebrated my birthday. Ladidada, yes, I am a year older, with extra hair-loss in the form of receding hairline, a pair of man-boobs (CUP D size equivalent of a bra), pan-cake ass, crooked yellow, tar-stained teeth and a belly that rivals Najib, I am Berak Pee, Brad Pitt’s ugly twin. Contrary to popular fairy tale, this ugly ducking grew up to become a very ugly duck. Yes! My cleavage is indeed tighter than Pamela Anderson’s with a push-up bra! I am so unfit that I have to be at the bottom with a sex doll at the top (even after having Viagra)……

Anyway, enough of grotesque physical elaboration, I am now a CENTURION! Woohoo, well a quarter of a centurion…… My birthday wish is still to have a real person at the top instead of a sex doll…….Ahh, the person should be a good treasure hunter too, good at searching for ‘a needle in the haystack’, a prerequisite for any sex move or fore-play unfortunately……

Otherwise I am very easy to please! Honestly, I am not joking!

These past 5 years have been a steep learning curve for me. I watch contemptuously at some of my peers who brag about how well they are doing in life, usually in the form of career, always the amount of money they earn, the influence they yield and the amount of travelling they have done (air-miles always). I am so glad these peers are more than a STOMACH length from me, I do not have a lethal butt cheeks but my man-boobs are lethal on those who pissed me off with show-boating (through asphyxiation). Some have even gone to the length of peer idolising, ‘wah he earned so much, I want to be like him, (full of hubris, ego, big talk ……)’ The problem is that they start believing the lies they made for themselves are actually facts, well some of them anyway, while the others are just too shallow to see through the disguise. The funny thing is the people they attract or socialise, tend to be very often almost the exact replica of themselves……So what do I see ahead of me after my birthday? Do not be those people that I have criticized severely! Live my life the way I want it not the way how people expect me to live my life through sheer kaisuism…….

9 Responses to “Birthday passed, fat like Najib? Big like Pamela?”

  1. Madame said

    AMEN to that, Jingo! U truly are wise beyond ur years and….HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!🙂

  2. erniejean said

    Jingo….man-boods are the new black..so wear ’em proudly!

    Happy 1/4 Century old….and btw, Najib’s not fat, he’s just soft.

  3. mesoso said

    OMG…jingo sounds like a mesoso wannabe..
    dont worry about your man-boobs and pan-cake ass. mesoso has a good exercise routine to turn those sagging fat into throbbing hard meat..if you want to look like an adonis on your next b’day, just come see me..

    kekeke

  4. jingoisticbuthornydesperado said

    lol, and how do i do that?

  5. mesoso said

    jingo ah..u need to get barbie’s permission first..can ah? then come to mamma..mesoso will show you step by step..all the way……….🙂

  6. jingoisticbuthornydesperado said

    mesoso, i dont think you need permission from barbie. Barbie never claims to own you….

  7. Cherubim said

    Happy 25th Birthday! ^_^

  8. barbie said

    Happy 25th birthday my friend!!! To the best days ahead, cheers!! *chests bumping ritual*

  9. Pamela Anderson is superb mind blowing and world no 1 sexy girls i love her muuuuuah

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