The Dandelions

.. the mutual admiration and bashing society.

Twelve Things to Give You Reason to Laugh Today!

Posted by Foodie on August 27, 2008

After more than a week of heavy stuff in this blog, I’ve decided to lighten things up in here a bit 🙂 After all, the victory at Permatang Pauh certainly calls for some celebration in the Dandelions! Don’t you think? Here’s something I received from a friend recently! Enjoy.

1) To make it straight, she pulls it. To make it stand, she rubs it. To make it stiff, she licks it. To put it in, she pushes it. It is a hell of a job threading a needle!!!

2) A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. When they broke up, he wanted his blood back. The girl threw a bloody KOTEX at him and said, ‘I’ll pay you in monthly installments.’

3) Girl in cinema turns sideways and whispers to her boyfriend ‘The man next to me is masturbating!’ Bf: ‘Ignore him.’ GF: ‘I can’t.’ BF: ‘Why not?’ GF: ‘He is using my hand!’

4) The Biology teacher draws a huge PENIS on the board and asks ‘Does anybody know what this is? Dirty John says ‘Oh, it’s a penis and you know Dad’s got 2 of them’. The teacher says ‘2 of them?’ John says ‘ya’. The little one he uses to pee and the big one to brush mum’s teeth.’

5) 4 miracles of a woman: A. Getting wet without taking a shower B. Bleeding without getting hurt C. Giving milk without eating grass D. Making boneless meat hard

6) What is the smallest hotel in the world? The answer is ‘Vagina Inn’. It accommodates only 1 standing occupant with his 2 baggages left outside.

7) Unborn twins saw a penis approaching. 1st: Papa coming, papa coming 2nd: You fool, it’s uncle lah. Papa never comes with raincoat!

8) A hubby said to his wife, ‘ I will take a photo of your breast and frame it.’ The wife said to husband, ‘I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it.’

9) What did Snow White complain about after having sex with the 7 dwarfs? Snow White said, ‘ I would rather have 7 inches at 1 time. Not 1 inch 7 times.’

10) The vagina is the world’s best rehabilitation center. Even the most violent and aggressive penis comes out humbled, head bowed and reduced in size.

11) A loving husband had ‘I Love You’ tattooed on his dick. When he got home, he showed it to his wife. She said, ‘There u go again trying to put words in my mouth.’

12) Lady was trying on a dress. Husband: ‘Your ass is as big as a BBQ pit!’ Later in bed, husband said, ‘Want to do it?’ Wife: ‘It’s a waste lighting up a BBQ pit for a small sausage.’

21 Responses to “Twelve Things to Give You Reason to Laugh Today!”

  1. Madame said


    Great one, Babe….this is precisely what we needed 😉

  2. erniejean said


    Monthly installments huh? Hhhmmmmmm…..

  3. mesoso said

    wait..mesoso got one to add

    What did one gay sperm say to the other Gay sperm?

    How do we find the egg in all this shit?!


  4. mesoso said

    and another…

    What’s the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? Freezers don’t fart when you pull the meat out.

    hehehe… 😀

  5. lankapo said

    awesome …

    what with 2 penis, small one and big one..?

  6. missjolie said

    Lankapo! you’ve gotta be kidding me. You don’t get it? ;P I’ll forgive you if you’re a girl and a virgin…but if you’re a guy I have serious reason to whack you on the head! hahaha!

  7. mesoso said

    aiyo..lankapo…mesoso thot nobody more blur than mesoso..

    the 2 penis..small one when soft…big one when hard lor..

  8. Madame said


  9. jingoisticbuthornydesperado said

    a limp penis and an erect penis lah……..

  10. missjolie said

    LOL…mesoso..thanks for the jokes! U damn farney. thanks for explaining to lankapo! 😛

  11. very funny.

    am recommending it to friends.

  12. mauryaII said

    Icing on the PP celebration cake!More to come?

  13. Montana1 said


    “The vagina is the world’s best rehabilitation center. Even the most violent and aggressive penis comes out humbled, head bowed and reduced in size.”

    Hebat kan, the “little piece of land” between our legs? Can make a warrior “buang” his country!! HAHAHAHA!


  14. missjolie said

    Let’s Drink to our god given V-JayJay! Ruler of MEN! 😉

  15. Montana1 said

    hahaha! Keep it going msjolie! U make my day.

  16. bongkersz said

    Hey cool blog you guys got here!! Thanks for adding me at your blogroll.

    This Missjole is sure funny. I love joke no. 7 hehe!

  17. missjolie said

    Hi Bongkserz, thanks for your support!! Please visit us more often! 🙂

  18. SitOnThis said

    ….and the award goes to No.4.____advertisement award of the year for a toothbrush promotion…. very entertaining and refreshing. TQ

  19. farizbakar said

    Can i copy and link this post in my blog? =)

  20. missjolie said

    be my guest! 🙂

  21. Maria Mali said

    I have been reading some very interesting stuff here, Good information, thanks for the Web view and keep up the good work


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