The Dandelions

.. the mutual admiration and bashing society.

Macam Mana Lu Mau I Tolong…..?

Posted by ErnieJean on November 25, 2008

Being a total bimbo sometimes, there was a time when I was happily driving around, totally clueless that my road tax had already expired. As fate would have it, a police patrol car that happened to be driving behind me decided to check on the status of my car, found out about the expired road tax and proceeded to hail me down.

Stopping at the side of the road, me at the front with the patrol car parked right behind, one of the two policemen, got down and swaggered towards my direction (I remain seated inside the locked car of course) and informed me of my offence. And as expected, after informing me of the “value” of my offence, Mr. Policeman #1 proceeded with the standard question designed for some kind of plea for leniency from the offender…….

“Macam mana? Mau kena saman ke?” (“How? Do you want to be summoned?“)

And of course, at this time, Mr. Policeman #2 would have gotten down from the car too and start walking around the two of us (like a vulture, circling its prey), to add to the “nerve-wrecking” situation…..with such precise timing, if I may so say myself.

Imagine their dissapointment when I replied…..

“Encik, kalau saya salah, memang saya patut di saman….Saman saja lah” (“Sir, if I have committed the offence, then I deserve to be summoned….Go ahead -lah”)

And as expected, I got off the hook with a reminder to get my road tax renewed. 😀

It also helped that this happened at the end of the month, where the police would have filled their quota of summons to be issued and hence any additional summons would mean more paperwork…….although I can’t verify whether this holds any truth, but that is what most of us Malaysians assume as the “unspoken truth”.

I’m very sure we’ve all encountered this same senario…..being caught for committing a traffic offence (also sometimes debatable y’know?) and we have our beloved “mata” offerring to “help” us avoid the hassles of paying summons….it’s almost become like a national institution, in a way……everyone knows the standard procedures……

  • the “hiding behind some bushes” speed trap or whatever trap,
  • the pull-over,
  • the swagger,
  • the threat…oops, I mean the informing of the amount to be paid via summon,
  • the begging aka negotiation, and finally
  • the exchange.
  • You know, with all the overseas trips by our BN government, disguised as “study trips”, these yoyos should just visit our neighbour, the “little-red-dot” down south, especially in improving the integrity of our police force and security.

    Sergeant Pah Wenxiang was patrolling along Woodlands Road at about 5.30pm on 31Oct last year when he spotted a driver of a white car making an illegal U-turn and driving against traffic flow for 500m.

    In doing so, the driver narrowly missed a collision with a motorcyclist before entering a petrol station.

    The cop then tailed the driver and confronted him when the latter stopped at the petrol station.
    The driver, Lim Teck Choon, a 56-year-old Malaysian businessman, told Sgt Pah he did not want to be caught in the traffic jam and wanted to return to Malaysia as soon as possible.

    He even went on to suggest that it was common for vehicles to reverse and drive against the flow of traffic when there was a traffic jam.

    His excuse cut no ice and Sgt Pah proceeded to inform Lim that he would be charged in court for dangerous driving and that he would be placed under arrest. (Perhaps, he should have done a “MM2” by declaring that he “no spicking & leading Inglish”)

    Tried to bargain

    Lim tried to bargain with Sgt Pah by asking whether it was possible not to ‘summon’ him so ‘heavily’.

    Sgt Pah replied that he had no choice as Lim had committed a serious traffic offence. Lim acknowledged that he was at fault and that he could not deny this.

    While waiting for the police car to arrive, Sgt Pah started a conversation with Lim, who said that he was a businessman with businesses in Singapore and Malaysia.

    He added that he also owned plantations in Johor which were popular grounds for fishing and hunting.

    Lim then told Sgt Pah: ‘Why want to do this, be enemy. You should let me go. We can be friends. Next time you come to Malaysia, Iwill take care of you, still got benefits.’ (…………Trademark of UMNO? MCA? MIC?……”we friend friend….I take care of you, you take care of me”……)

    On hearing that, Sgt Pah felt that the accused was offering a bribe, and he accordingly told the accused that it was an offence to do so. (Wah! Wah! If in Malaysia, Mr. Mata would have been pretty pissed off if there was no offer)

    The accused replied ‘okay’ and did not say anything else after that. Still, the offer to bribe the cop landed Lim in hot water.

    When his case came up before District Judge Jasvender Kaur, the judge noted that attempting to bribe a police officer is a serious offence. But she took into account Lim’s plea for leniency in this case.

    First, after Lim’s request of not being summoned so heavily was turned down, Lim did not persist.

    Lim admitted he was wrong and that the traffic police officer was only doing his duty.
    Judge Kaur said: ‘I think it is reasonable to say that the accused would, in all probability, not have said what he said had Sgt Pah not started the casual conversation.’

    Lim also pleaded with the judge, saying that he was a deputy chairman of Malaysian Chinese Association for the town of Kampong Jawa in Johor, and he has helped students and orphans in his constituency. (MALU-NYA!!!!! That moron just informed the whole world that a politician, Deputy Chairman some more, from the ruling party tried to bribe his way out!!!)

    As Lim had no previous records, he was spared the jail sentence and was fined $15,000 for the bribery offence. He was fined $2,500 earlier and disqualified from driving for six months.

    For all the kiasu-jokes and love-hate relationship we have with our Singaporean cousins, I can’t help but envy them in that aspect………INTEGRITY, JUSTICE AND PRIDE……something our law-enforcers and politicians from the ruling coalition sorely lacks…….and will probably continue to lack as long as the current ruling coalition remains in power…..


    17 Responses to “Macam Mana Lu Mau I Tolong…..?”

    1. Madame said

      Ernie Jo….Bravo!!! 🙂

      Must tell you tho….this rare case where my friend attempted to bribe the cop for a speeding offense, he was promptly booked by this officer for attempting to bribe him. So….my point is, there still are a few good apples left…even if you have to go thru a few bushels to find one 😉 There is hope…..

    2. mesoso said

      psst…, miss ah..u got barbie’s contact ah??..i give u 50 sen..u give me number, can ah?..we keep keep secret hor..


    3. Madame said

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA….good try, Mesoso 😀 Hmmmm…it will take much, much more than 50sen tho…u probably cudnt afford it 😉

    4. Abracadabra said

      why is mesoso always after barbie?

    5. peng said

      LOL! That’s my standard answer too. Say maaf for the offence. Admit wrong-doing. Then ask for the summon. They will usually ask me if I can pay, and I will reply that cannot also have to.. all the time I am let off with a warning not to drive so fast!
      But there’s this funny incident where the mata-mata who stopped me asked for my tel no. He said that he will not summon me if I buy him a drink later. So I gave my tel no. The next day, he called up. When I answered, I realised who it was and did a ‘line putus’ trick. He called a 2nd time, by then I recognized his number and did not answer the phone! 😀

    6. erniejean said

      Peng, you got hit on!!?? LOL!!!! You must be a real hottie, huh?
      But yes, some of those damn hot-blooded policemen are very gatal…..esp after a day of driving around aimlessly……was once approached by one of these donkeys when I got down from my car, parked right in front of my home….can you believe it!!

      Mesoso….forget it!!! My price is def a lot higher than 50 cents!!! ROTFL!!!!! 😛

      Madame, too bad there’s just too few good apples to cover up for the rest of the rotten ones, huh?

    7. mesoso said

      ernie ah..favor favor mah..i bake u cheesecake also..can lah..pls, pls, pls..otherwise, got wedding song but no wedding the meantime, mesoso will do more pole dancing and earn extra money to pay u..hehe


    8. peng said

      Ernie, LOL you got hit too? Also a hottie, huh? How did you managed disengage yourself from their paws? Think they won’t give up so easily?
      I am no hottie leh! What happened is this gatal mata trafik was looking at my driving license photo dated about 10 years ago…then still the sweet young thing! I like to keep old, but better looking mugshots for license and passport renewal!
      He even had the cheek to say this, ‘saya in hitam, mana lu mau jadi kawan!’ How pathetically gatal! LOL!

    9. erniejean said

      Peng…..this just about proves what sort of “scums-of-the-earth” we have in our police force, doesn’t it?

      With law-enforcers like that, who needs criminals…..sigh!

    10. barbie said


      All you need to do is ask. Why the need to bribe? HAHAHA!

    11. mesoso said


      ask directly shy mah..later people thick skin one.. mesoso ask..give, give..quick, quick..hehe


    12. mesoso said

      cheiiiiii….wait so long osso no reponse one..

      aiyah, aiyah, nvm lah…mesoso give barbie number instead..please call 012-3456789 and ask for miss toot2. she will connect you to mesoso..


    13. barbie said

      Oi! Why cannot get through? Liar this Mesoso.. strike off the list.. 😛

    14. mesoso said

      eh..u really really called mesoso ah? really ah?..okok..mesoso switch on hand-fone now..please call…if cannot get thru, try again and again and again..


    15. erniejean said

      Excuse me……I don’t recall this being being some sort of Cupid’s Club site lah…….. LOL!!!!!!

    16. mesoso said

      oklor..we go elsewhere lor…


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      and we will to link with “READ MORE” for fully article to your blog!

      Benefit, make a many linkback and get more traffic!

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