The Dandelions

.. the mutual admiration and bashing society.

Archive for the ‘Horny’ Category

Let’s All Snog!!!!!!

Posted by ErnieJean on January 2, 2009

“You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply as time goes by
Moonlight and love songs never out of date
Hearts full of passion, jealousy, and hate
Woman needs man, and man must have his mate
That no one can deny
It’s still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers as time goes by…”

As time goes by
Music and lyrics by Herman Hupfeld
 

 
In full view of all Malaysians....live on TV....

In full view of all Malaysians....live on TV....in Dataran Merdeka

All I want to know is……where were all the” ever efficient” officers from DBKL, PDRM and JAKIM when that took place……….
 
Too busy spying on couples in hotel rooms and lake gardens perhaps  😛
 
Of course, our “aging-but-hormones-still-raging” PM has always been known to be a repeat “offender” of kissing his wife in full view of whoever is unfortunate enough to witness it.
Kiss Kiss......

Imam of Islam Hadhari in action (other than sleeping, of course).....Kiss Kiss......

Nope, I have no issues with husbands and wives (or even courting couples) showering each other with affection in public, in a decent manner of course……..in fact my hubby and I are just as guilty of that.
 
But JUST IN CASE us ordinary folks are not so lucky, that the next time we get harrassed for, say, merely holding hands in public, just show those “irritating-good-for-nothing” local authorities or law enforcers any of the above photos.

Posted in Badawi, erniejean, Horny, Malaysia, Observations | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Birthday passed, fat like Najib? Big like Pamela?

Posted by jingoisticbuthornydesperado on August 18, 2008

I have just recently celebrated my birthday. Ladidada, yes, I am a year older, with extra hair-loss in the form of receding hairline, a pair of man-boobs (CUP D size equivalent of a bra), pan-cake ass, crooked yellow, tar-stained teeth and a belly that rivals Najib, I am Berak Pee, Brad Pitt’s ugly twin. Contrary to popular fairy tale, this ugly ducking grew up to become a very ugly duck. Yes! My cleavage is indeed tighter than Pamela Anderson’s with a push-up bra! I am so unfit that I have to be at the bottom with a sex doll at the top (even after having Viagra)……

Anyway, enough of grotesque physical elaboration, I am now a CENTURION! Woohoo, well a quarter of a centurion…… My birthday wish is still to have a real person at the top instead of a sex doll…….Ahh, the person should be a good treasure hunter too, good at searching for ‘a needle in the haystack’, a prerequisite for any sex move or fore-play unfortunately……

Otherwise I am very easy to please! Honestly, I am not joking!

These past 5 years have been a steep learning curve for me. I watch contemptuously at some of my peers who brag about how well they are doing in life, usually in the form of career, always the amount of money they earn, the influence they yield and the amount of travelling they have done (air-miles always). I am so glad these peers are more than a STOMACH length from me, I do not have a lethal butt cheeks but my man-boobs are lethal on those who pissed me off with show-boating (through asphyxiation). Some have even gone to the length of peer idolising, ‘wah he earned so much, I want to be like him, (full of hubris, ego, big talk ……)’ The problem is that they start believing the lies they made for themselves are actually facts, well some of them anyway, while the others are just too shallow to see through the disguise. The funny thing is the people they attract or socialise, tend to be very often almost the exact replica of themselves……So what do I see ahead of me after my birthday? Do not be those people that I have criticized severely! Live my life the way I want it not the way how people expect me to live my life through sheer kaisuism…….

Posted in Horny, jingoisticbuthornydesperado, life, Najib Tun Razak, pamela anderson | Tagged: , , , | 9 Comments »

Is Helen Mirren hot? You bet she is …

Posted by Oscar the Grouch on August 18, 2008

I have always maintained the following – if I was ever been given a choice to go out on a dinner date with either of the following individuals:

a) Either one of the girls from Twins, the now-infamous Hong Kong pop singer group;

b) The current Miss Chinatown;

c) Judi Dench;

– my choice would be Dame Judi Dench, hands down.

Well, without doubt, the Twins and Miss Chinatown would be physically pleasing to the eyes, not to mention, garnering the envy of other hot-blooded males; but the fact is, Judi Dench would, to me, make a far superior date-companion to a romantic dinner engagement as compared to a dull, uninteresting young lass who is interested in nothing but exchanging disengaging cutesy smiles; whilst interjecting in between the awkward silence interval with incomprehensible small-talk.

And perhaps that is why the wonderful write-up, Sex and the 60-somethings (Culture Cul De Sac, Starmag, August 17) by Jacqueline Pereira, makes such an engaging read. Yes, I can identify with appreciating a salaciously sensual, though somewhat aged, lady. In fact, I find the word “aged” as rudimentary crude; perhaps, a more appropriate description to Dame Helen Mirren’s maturity should be just that: attractively mature; as opposed to old, elderly, senior or even, ripe.

But before I carry on, I wish to place on records that I am not over 90 years of age, of which some may then accuse me of flirtatiously zeroing my wanton attention on the younger woman. In fact, I have yet to cross the 40 years age timeline, of which, it does not mean I am a young kinky sex addict whose sole pastime interest is to click on pornographic websites bearing the heading of hot naked mature ladies or granny porn.

I am but a decent gentleman whose idea of a great date is to have a romantic dinner, whilst engaging in pleasant, yet intelligent conversation. The dinner-chat must be interesting, slightly off-beat at times, but never dull. A smile, or a laugh, emanated from such dinner-chat, should be sincere and natural; never a forced social compulsion of trying to please one’s date.

A woman who is confident, self-assured and engaging is very sexy. A woman who is confident, self-assured and engaging at the age of 63, as in Helen Mirren, is even sexier. Therefore, my answer to the question, “Is Helen Mirren really desirable at 62?”, would too be a resounding “Yes”.

In fact, the actresses whom I find physically and mentally attractive, as opposed to just physically good-looking, have all been, well, mature. Helen Mirren is only one of the many. Take the example I have referred to earlier, Dame Judi Dench, who at 74, is one hot babe in the role of M in the James Bond film series. Who cares about the other Bond Babes that come and go after each movie instalment? M is the permanent babe that stays along, even after poor aging Pierce Brosnan got booted out in favour of the younger Daniel Craig. In fact, as Bond’s boss, Judi Dench has always been on top of him, as opposed to the other poor girls.

And then, there is the delightful Meryl Streep. She has charmed audience, since her younger days, not with her physical looks, but with solid and engaging acting skills – from The Deer Hunter, opposite Robert De Niro, to Kramer vs. Kramer, opposite Dustin Hoffman. Those who caught a bit of her latest offering, Mamma Mia!, the film version of the ABBA musical, will find that Streep, at 59, is still charmingly attractive. Of course there are younger contenders – such as Michelle Pfeiffer, who looked beautiful decades ago in Grease 2, and still look incredible today, at the age of 50; and Julianne Moore, who is still ravishing at 48, not to mention she is a spokesmodel for Revlon.

My point of contention, at the end of the day, is that it is not the skimpy red bikini adorned by Dame Helen Mirren that makes attractive. It is what is beneath her that shines through her desirable physicality – her mind, character, personality, poise, charisma, intelligence, charm, traits and individuality; all of which has been fine-tuned in the course of time, to this state of what I would term as maturely attractive. Yes, I am in love with a woman’s mind – one that can engage, participate, amuse and tease alongside with my own intellect and wit. It is never an issue of loving a physical body of a woman with mindless disposition.

But having said that, I have been made to understand that Helen Mirren actually looks incredible in the red bikini. I have also did a google-search and found that Mirren has frequently appeared nude on film as far back as her first film Age of Consent, and was over 50 years of age when she appeared nude in the film Calendar Girls and on the cover of the Radio Times 5-11 October issue in 1996.

With such revelations, I wish to place on records that I did not google search for Helen Mirren’s nude photos.

Posted in Conversation, Female Psyche, Horny, life, Observation, Opinions, Oscar the Grouch, Sexuality | 4 Comments »

Chocolate, sex and orgasm

Posted by jingoisticbuthornydesperado on August 3, 2008

Sex is too much of a taboo and I would like to demystify sex. I am not just talking about any sex, I am also going to talk about kinky sex with the help of chocolate…… Hah, no I am not a practical sex guru, I would probably consider myself as an amateur kinky sex theorist.

Chocolate is one of my favourite desserts, especially Belgian chocolate. There are three commercial houses being Leonidas, Neuhaus and Godiva. Leonidas is the most affordable, I have tasted it and I like it. However, Neuhaus and Godiva are supposedly a league above Leonidas, but so is the price being a league above. Neuhaus is recommended for people who like quite a fruity flavour. Godiva has less of a fruity mix, and the chocolate has just the perfect mixture (in my opinion) of chocolate taste with (coffee or nutty). Whereas masturbation-induced orgasm or lousy sex last for less than 5 to 10 minutes, the pleasure from indulging in Belgian chocolate can be more than 5-10 minutes, and yes I would rather forsake lousy 5-10 minutes sex and 5 minutes masturbation for Godiva chocolate. Be forewarned, 250 grams of Godiva chocolate is at a whooping RM65!

So how does one make full use of an expensive chocolate? This requires a loving (or lustful) couple of course! And perfect for Valentine’s day! First place the chocolate nuggets at the appropriate body parts (preferably without the clothes, and use your imagination). How do you want to pick up the chocolate nugget is in the realm of your fantasy. I personally think the mouth and the tongue are underused organs or limbs…… Whoever uses the teeth should be banned from sexual intercourse! A little bit of whipped cream along the ‘treasure trail’ might help, usually whip cream isn’t expensive, you can get a bottle of spray-on whipped cream for maybe RM6 I think.

For those who are more health conscious, a few strawberries on top of the whipped cream is a possible alternative. One of course can play with and move the whipped cream around by blowing gently and lovingly…… Yes, blowing gently can be very sensual (no, I am not talking about 69 or oral sex when I talk about blowing).

Yes this is hedonism, is hedonism bad? No. Why the hell does mother nature give us sensual pleasure if we don’t indulge in it. And I personally despise unrealistic and unreasonable social taboo and mind-numbingly stupid and inhibitive social norms. You say norm? I say bollocks. We are not hurting anyone are we? Sex to me can be viewed as an art form. It is beautiful, artistic and healthy. It releases endorphin into your body which makes you happy. And a good sex is as good as and probably better than 45 minutes of jogging session. Yup, good sex burn a lot of calories. Good sex with chocolate is heavenly. Don’t forget, coco is full with antioxidants that slows aging. You enjoy it and it is not painful like botox injection.

Posted in Dandelions, Food, Horny, jingoisticbuthornydesperado, sex | Tagged: , , , | 12 Comments »