The Dandelions

.. the mutual admiration and bashing society.

Posts Tagged ‘Boys’

This one’s for the Boys : The mysteries of the Female Psyche revealed

Posted by Madame on July 30, 2008

How often do you Boys moan about this? (yep, men are natural moaners….go on, admit it 😉 ) ‘Women are impossible to understand!’, ‘I’d rather rob Fort Knox than try to understand a woman’s logic’ and blah, blah, blah…it goes on….and on…

I’ve asked myself a thousand times…..Are women really that hard to understand or are men just too damn lazy to make the effort to try and understand us??? After all…men are perfectly able to understand each other just by GRUNTS….women actually speak in words which form sentences…so I figure that it’s just too much work for the male species 😉

Here are some common scenarios to clue you in, Boys 🙂

Female : ‘Awww…Honey, you bought me flowers for Valentine’s Day? Baby, you shouldn’t have bothered…its so expensive and I dont want you to waste your money.’

Usual male response : OK

Preferred male response : But, my darling…you’re deserve this and much more. I want to give you the world.

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Female : I dont want to talk about it. Its ok….I’m fine.

Usual male response : OK

Preferred Male response : Darling, talk to me please. I want to share every part of your life….the good and the bad. I’m interested in everything about you!

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You see the pattern, Boys? It’s that word “OK”. What the hell is that, I ask?! Its the laziest form of agreement, I figure 🙂 Strive to use words that are not monosyllabilic 😉

Ok then…let’s move on…you Boys get my drift, I’m sure. The Preferred Male Responses are the ones that you should be striving for, you will acheive Nirvana if you could just listen and answer us and show some interest. Women dont want GRUNTS….if we did, we’d get ourselves a little Porky 😉

Ahhhhh…now to the all important Male Obsession….SEX!!!! When IS a cuddle just a cuddle and nothing more? And when does a cuddle mean ” Ok, Stud Muffin….tonight’s your lucky night!” ? Sometimes, all we women want really is a cuddle…it gives us comfort and security. YESSS…these are 2 words that women use frequently….look up the meanings, Boys… memorise them and utilise them 😉

When the woman has had a difficult/emotional day….Please, Boys….we want a cuddle ONLY….Tarzan tactics will probably get you a swot on your head or worse 😉 Women dont appreciate “The Slam-Bam-Thank You-M’am Routine” at all. We want foreplay….INFACT, we demand foreplay! We like to be romanced…not pounced on, for Pete’s sake! 😀 It is very much an emotional and spiritual experience for us…so take a little time to ask Her about how her day went, massages would work very well too, give her a nice surprise….it’s the thought that counts! Set the mood and if you followed my suggestions, by now your woman should be ‘almost putty’ in your hands and then ask her nicely… if she would like to….Yes, Boys….do ask, please. Neanderthal Men are such a turn-off! 😉 Women love that freedom of choice…its empowering! 😉

Celebrate and cherish the differences between the Male and Female species. I’ll bet you wouldnt want to play the ‘Hokey-Pokey’ with a She-man ;-P Treat her well, respect her and protect her….all the while remembering to romance her and I’ll bet that every night…or almost….will be a “Stud Muffin, it’s your lucky nite!”…kinda night! 🙂

Now….that wasnt so hard now, was it, Boys?! 😉

P.S. Pay close attention, Boys, to the words that have been high-lighted…I know that even reading this might be too much work for you 😀

Posted in Female Psyche, madame, Observation, sex | Tagged: , , , , | 16 Comments »