Another Seventeen More!

Here’s something hilarious I received from a male friend recently I felt worthy of posting. It’s from the male’s perspective by the way. Considering how the spirit of Merdeka Day is in the doldrums , I’d like to spruce things up a bit in here 🙂 Enjoy, have a great laugh and a great Merdeka too (if you can) ;P

** Some of the jokes are a bit crude and may offend certain prudish parties. Apologies in advance if anyone is offended in the process. 😛 **

1. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big dick or a good memory.
I don’t remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings…’

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men –
‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on
earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try
Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good
partner, you’d better have a good hand.
;
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the ‘whole thing’. He was happy
with the ‘Hole’ and she was happy with the ‘Thing’……

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t.

16. Q: Why do men f ind it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men
still sleep with their wives!!